Failure is an option

Yesterday evening, a friend said he was thinking of auditioning for a part in our local. However he wasn't sure if he should because his mum has told him he can't sing. He asked me what I thought (well he might not of actually asked, but I volunteered my opinion anyway), which was that he should go for it as the experience was worth as much as the outcome.

It got me thinking of how often we don't try something for fear of failure. I think at least one of my parents has this philosophy: my dad has a strong identity with what he can and can't do. And my mum was very protective of me when I was younger so I'm sure would have tried to draw me away from anything that could cause me distress (like the disappointment of failure). I'm sure I'm not alone in having these experiences. But are they the best thing for us as we grow up?

I put a comment on Facebook yesterday which prompted a friend to point me towards Richard Branson's biography. He is one of the most famous examples of someone who failed over and over again in his quest to find success. I haven't read it yet but I've been told it's an inspiring read. It puts the whole failure issue into a different light.

In order to grow, we have to learn and the easiest way to do this is from our own life experiences. And in order to have experience, we must take action. If we're going to get better at something, we must have started off at a lower level of competence, so it therefore follows that we're going to fail a few times before we reach the level we call success.

So, while I wish my friend lots of luck with his audition, I also wish him the wisdom and growth that comes should he fail. And I thank him for being the inspiration for this blog post.

Why am I feeling down?

Over the last few days, I've been feeling that something isn't right. But as often happens with me, I haven't been able to put my finger on what. Symptoms have included irratability and slight discontentment with no obvious cause. My life is going well and I'm happy, so what has been going on?

As is usual for me, I've assumed there is something rather deep from my past which is "coming up" and therefore have decided this is another great opportunity to clear some past stress in order to align my life with my current wishes and purpose.

In the past when this happened, I'd stress out, I'd panic, I'd beat myself up (metaphorically) and even end up depressed, but these days I'm getting more familiar with the process.

Here are 3 steps which help me go through this process in a safe way.

Step one - breathe. Breath is our life force and the easiest way to free up blocked life energy is to breathe. So when I feel fearful or low or uncomfortable with any emotion, I focus on it and breathe deeply and slowly until the intensity passes.

Step two - identify the feelings. It's very easy to say "I feel crap" but it's much more useful to be able to say "I feel frustrated" or "I feel irritated". As the process unfurls, these emotions will change, but I've found that honoring them and accepting them without understanding why I'm feeling them seems to be really important.

Step three - notice the thoughts which run through our mind. Eventually I find myself thinking something which clearly doesn't serve me or agree with my conscious awareness. Things like "I don't deserve this" or "I'm no good" are common examples. In my past, I'd go along wtih them and spiral ever more downwards, but nowadays I sit up and take note. I see them as an outdated belief and and an opportunity for change.

Kinesiology is a great tool for changing belief systems and I'm lucky enough to be able to work on myself, so I sat down today and did a balance on myself. Now with greater understanding and cleared stress, I'm continuing my day.

And I haven't snapped at anything since then.

What do I say in a blog?

I was visiting my friend Liz of the Wellbeing Centre yesterday and the subject of blogging came up - both of us being business owners trying to increase our customer base. We both felt we ought to blog, but we had various reasons why we didn't. The main one being not knowing what to write.

I'd been at a speed networking meeting the previous evening and had listened to the eminent Nigel Morgan - king of blogging - speak about how he finds things to blog about and it set me thinking as to whether I really didn't have anything to say. When I chatted to Liz about it it seemed more and more unlikely as I rarely find moments in life where I have nothing to say. How could blogging be so different?

So after dismissing the excuse of no time as not being the reason I didn't blog either - I waste loads of time in other ways, so this really wasn't going to cut it as a valid reason, I came to the realisation that I just didn't belive that people would be interested in what I had to say.

So I thought about where that belief came from and whether it was actually still serving me in my life and quickly realised it definitely wasn't.

So what to write. I thought of a blog I read, which is written by my friend Ali. She writes from the heart and I always find what she writes interesting and inspiring. So I thought if I write about various things that happen, which give me some kind of "aha" moment, maybe other people will find it interesting and inspiring too.

And then I realised I had the material for my "re-launch" blog entry.

Oxford Yes Group

I've recently discovered a social group based in Oxford, called the Oxford Yes Group. It's a bunch of positive thinking people who get together, hold talks, hold socials, and generally network with each other. So far, I've been to one talk and one social - a walk around Whittenham in Oxfordshire, both of which were well worth going to.

It's great to find positive people in this world where so many people are bogged down with their woes. It can be so easy to slip into negativity if we're not careful, but negative feelings attract negative situations (from the law of attraction - see previous blog), so it is extremely counter-productive to be in this state.

Also, when we're around people, we pick up on their energy, so being around positive people uplifts us and being around negative people can drain us. The more sensitive we are, the more easily we are affected by this. If you are having to go into an environment where you know there wil be negativity, it is a good idea to protect yourself with a golden light around you (just visualise it and it will be there). This will reflect negative energies back with love and light.

If we find that we can't get ourselves out of a negative state or we regularly find ourselves falling into one, kinesiology may be the solution. Often old, outdated belief systems block us from being the person we really want to be, and 3-in-1 Concepts Kinesiology can work directly with these beliefs and the emotions that go alongside, to defuse and help us to make the choices we really want. Please see my web site for more details http://www.roskitson.co.uk/

The Law of Attraction

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a fantastic workshop on the Law of Attraction at the Wellbeing Centre in Newbury. Run by Sally Askwith, this workshop teaches how to attract all the things we want into our lives, based on the universal laws of like attracts like. It was a great fun filled day and Sally even provides a box of goodies - great for bringing out the child in us all.

Without going into too many details, the workshop has taught me how to be positive all the time - yes ALL the time - this part is really important. And then good things just attract themselves to us. Apart from just having a much better time than I usually do, I had a great success with a game of Monopoly the other day. The money just kept on rolling in, whilst all the other players seemed to be struggling to keep in credit. I'm now rolling out the principle into real money and other goals.

One of which is a new house. My contract where I'm currently living is being terminated by the owners and I'm on the look out to rent a small rural cottage in West Berkshire as of the end of April. Please email me if you find any such cottages available. Many thanks.

Success with the food plan

I'm now well into this new eating plan and I'm really feeling the benefits. I am much more stable emotionally and more resilient to set-backs. My energy levels stay at a useful level enabling me to get things done and I'm actually enjoying life much more.

Although I'm still eating the odd bar of chocolate (haven't reached that stage yet), I am also finding that I also have times when I just don't want it and have refused the offer of chocolate on several occasions without feeling I've somehow deprived myself. This is a new experience for me having been a self-confessed chocoholic for years.

I'm extremely impressed with how simple this process has been and really believe that a greater education on nutrition is needed in today's society. A lot of this information is still "new" but hopefully in the future this kind of stuff will be taught in schools.

New Eating Programme

Well, I'm 4 weeks into the new eating programme I blogged about in my last entry - inspired by the fantastic book "Potatoes Not Prozac" by Kathleen Desmaisons. Incidentally she also has a website which provides an overview of the programme and forums where people can send questions or just post their thoughts. I've found it really supportive to read about other people who have gone through similar stuff to me.

So, back to my progress. Well it started really well. The first step is to adjust your breakfast, or for those who skip this vital meal of the day, have one. As I have always eaten breakfast regularly, this was a fairly easy first step for me, although I know my friend has spent a bit more time on this stage. The second step, writing a food journal, also seemed fairly easy. So after 2 1/2 weeks, I was feeling fairly upbeat about moving onto step 3.

This is where by problems started. Step 3 requires you to eat 3 meals a day with protein at each meal (there's a bit more to it, but that's the basics, for the purpose of this blog). Well, I don't always eat 3 meals a day, so obviously I've been a bit up and down since then. It's amazing how such a simple adjustment can bring up so many "food issues". But unlike "wobbly moments" before, this time I feel I have the tools to recover and I have indeed rebalanced myself quicker than I would normally have done.

So while my initial naivety that it would all be easy and really quick has been scuppered again, I am still feeling really positive that this is the eating programme for me.

More later...