Phobias, Addictions and Obsessions

What do these three things have in common?

The answer is fear.

Phobias are pretty self-explanatory. We fear something to such an extent that it causes us problems in our present lives.  They may have come from a past trauma.  Maybe we were bitten by a dog when we were young and still become very frightened when a dog barks or bares its teeth. They may also be inherited from another person.  Maybe your mother screamed every time she saw a spider, so you learnt very early that spiders were something to be scared of, even though you didn't know why.

Addictions are habits we have developed in our lives, that produce a negative emotional response when they are taken away.  Often they are something we take into the body - common examples are cigarettes, alcohol or drugs.  However we can be addicted to patterns of behaviour or to people.  What happens here is that we are blocking a negative emotional response by seeking so-called "pleasurable" behaviour.  However, what that does is push the negative emotion down into our body, so it isn't resolved.  Every time it re-surfaces, our bodies tell us we want the addiction.  This gives us a positive "hit" and the pain is pushed aside for a while.  The trouble with this is that the pain will keep trying to resurface in order to be healed. So often we need bigger and bigger "hits" to keep it suppressed   Alongside that, we can have a physical response to addictive substances, but this is much easier to deal with if we've dealt with the emotional residue.

Obsessions are fears projected into the future.  This time there will be an initial negative experience from our past which we worry about happening again in the future.  Like the phobias or addictions, it could be experienced by us or learned from another person.   Things like believing we'll get ill if we don't clean things several times a day or worrying we'll forget to do something.  Often we create rituals to cope with these things; checking something several times or obsessive cleaning.  Alternatively, we avoid the triggering situations altogether, for example, not being the last to leave the house so we don't have to check the door is locked several times. Superstitions also come into the category of obsessions.  These are usually learned from another person. Like addictions, if we treat the underlying fear, then the ritual becomes a simple habit which is much easier to break.

So, if these patterns are causing you problems in your life, kinesiology can help you find and clear the root cause and take back control of your lives, even if you have no conscious idea of where they came from.

When you can't go with the flow

On Friday, I wrote about how we can all choose how we respond to any situation.  I told you all  that you have the choice about how you feel.  But I expect there are some of you out there shaking your fists at the computer and saying, " But I can't just change how I feel about things. She's talking a load of rubbish."

So, what's going on when we feel like this.  Well, what's happening is that we're triggering our past.  The sort of past we wish we hadn't had to experience.  The sort of past that leaves a negative residue in our memories.

We may have buried the memory. We may have consciously forgotten about it.  But if we didn't resolve it, it will affect our current reactions to the situations we find ourselves in.

So, for example, if we previously had to miss something very important because of the snow, we may not look too favourably when it snows again.  If we've had a bad reaction to changing our plans, we may not look favourably on having to change our plans due to snow.  And the list goes on - there are many things that could affect it and not all of them will be as obvious as those.

Luckily, with kinesology, we can get rid of the past triggers and re-empower ourselves to make the choices and have the reactions that will serve us best in our lives.  I'm always amazed how a session can bring such insight into how we can to have the pattern we are running, before clearing the stress and giving us back our choice.

Please contact me with any other questions you may have or book an appointment.

Go With the Flow

It's snowing here. I'm wrapped up in several jumpers and working from home.

But I had planned to have a singing lesson, do my shopping and then head over to see my boyfriend in Marlborough.

So what to do?  Well, the singing lesson was cancelled, so that decision was out of my hands. I've now been sitting here, listening to the radio and reading Facebook updates, both of which suggest the roads are getting worse.  The advice is very strongly "don't drive unless you have to".  So I'll probably survive without a trip to Sainsburys.

That leaves the 3rd trip. Obviously I want to see my boyfriend, but I have to put safety first.  I'll see how conditions progress, but it's not looking good.

Now, the point of this article is to talk about how I feel about these changes.  I have options; I could feel stressed and angry.  I could resent the weather for affecting my plans. I could feel hard done by.

Or, I could accept the situation and appreciate the beauty of the landscape covered in its blanket of white.  I could make the most of the extra time to get jobs done.  I could go out for a walk and enjoy the surroundings close up. And I can phone my boyfriend.

We all have a choice in how we respond to situations we find ourselves in.  And this goes for any situation. We have a choice as to whether we see ourselves as a victim or as someone in control of our lives.

So decide how you'd like to respond to the snow, and make the most of the circumstances you find yourself in.

New Year

Wow, I  just looked at my last post at the end of September - on the importance of rest and it seems I've had over 3 months off.

Well it was a lovely rest, but now back to work!


It's the new year - no surprise there. We get one every year and it's usually full of great new intentions on how to set our lives in the direction we'd like them to take.

I've noticed that for the last 2 new years, I've had an overwhelming urge to de-clutter.  To get rid of the old; things that are no longer needed in my life.  To be honest, I have a slight obsession with decluttering.  This is not to say that I live in minimalist bliss.  Oh no!  I have lots of possessions.  But maybe that's why I'm always so keen to get rid of the stuff I don't need.

And also, there's the amazing feeling I get when I prise a bag of unwanted items from my drawers and cupboards.  It feels like relief, freedom, a lightness. I feel excited, like it's the start of a new phase of my life.

If I could do this every day, I would, but unfortunately life doesn't work like that.  I find that I know the right time for me to de-clutter. I get drawn to it and off I go.  The rest of the time I have to live my life.

And does it change my life?  Well, not in a dramatic way, but definitely things change each time this happens.  Maybe my attitude changes, or maybe it triggers me to look at some area of my life or a belief system which is no longer serving me.  I often find that it's an easy way to kick start a change that I know needs to happen, but I can't quite put my finger on the details.

So if you're feeling like a new start, but aren't sure how or where, open a cupboard and start de-cluttering.