Self Awareness

Self awareness is a subject I've been pursuing for a while now.  I still remember how it felt back in my past when my self-awareness was much lower, and indeed, I can look back at my journals in amazement at my rather strange perspective on the world.  But in spite of this, I have to acknowledge that I used to look at the world from a very different place from where I am now.  I used to take things personally, I used to feel the world had some problem with me and I used to feel quite hard done by. I used to jump to conclusions about situations and this often made me feel either very angry or very upset.

Having gone down my road and enriched my self-awareness, I now realise that these conclusions I reached, were often projections of my own fears or judgements onto those around me.  So, for example, if a friend had changed plans to meet up, I may have assumed they didn't care and they took me for granted, whereas, this was a projection of my fear that I wasn't deserving of friends who cared.

This can lead to a rather self-absorbed state, which can often happen when we struggle in life. Our perspective narrows and, when we feel something, we project it onto the first thing that irritates us, rather then looking into our feelings for what they are - just feelings.  There's a big difference between "She's abandoned me because she doesn't care" and "I feel abandoned".  The first one is blame and projection and the  second one is a simple acknowledgement of a feeling.  Our feeling of abandonment may well have been triggered by an experience from our past which has gone unresolved.  Understanding this is where self-awareness comes in.

By looking into our feelings and asking ourselves where they come from enough times, we start to understand our patterns and where our past hurts haven't been resolved.  If we can release them then they will no longer trigger extremes of emotion.  But even if we can't, we can remember that our emotional reactions are based on something deeper and bigger than the current experience.  This can lead to a broader perspective and is what self-awareness is all about.

If you would like help with doing this in a safe, non-judgemental environment, please contact me for an appointment.