Who's Problem - Part 2

Why do we have a problem with certain people?

Now we've established it's our problem (see the last post), we often still don't understand why. And this can make it harder to focus on resolving it - the focus keeps shifting back to the other person, with feelings of being hard done by, or being a victim.

I believe in Law of Attraction: we attract what we put out. Therefore I believe that by changing something in ourselves, we can change our experiences.  And I find this very empowering.

Firstly, it's very important to remind ourselves, constantly, that we must focus on ourselves in order to change. We cannot change another person, and indeed, most people are somewhat resistant to being changed. We like to be accepted for who we are rather than being criticized for what we are not.  However, we do change from our own choice when presented with different external circumstances.

Think about how you respond to different people depending on the dynamics of the individual relationships.  Some people will snap at you, some may sulk, some may be totally accepting of you, whatever you seem to do.  Each one will bring out a different aspect of your personality.  In exactly the same way, you bring out a different aspect of other people's personality by the way you are around them.

So if you are having a problem with someone, have a look at the way you are being around them. If someone was being that way around you, how would it make you feel?  They won't necessarily respond in the same way as you would, but it's a start.  In this way, we become more empathic and compassionate around others.

As a healer, I often feel the need to impart knowledge or advice to others who are suffering in some way.  And it can be frustrating to me when they don't immediately take action.  However, I know from my own experiences of being ill, that sometimes I just feel the need to hide away for a while and rest, without doing anything else. Then I'm ready to tackle my healing on a more conscious level.  It's sometimes hard for me to remember that others might have this need too.

Whereas it's important to recognise and stand up for our own needs, it's also useful in any communication to see the other person's point of view.  Understanding our effect on another person can be all we need to bring a different perspective to the situation and resolve our "problem".