The Process of Process

Process is a word that comes up a lot in healing circles.  People talk about being in process or processing stuff, but what does it actually mean and how does it work?

When something changes in our life - circumstances, or our feelings about something - we go through a period of transformation.  Sometimes that's quite smooth and quick, but at other times it can be quite challenging.

Take, for example, moving house.  When moved from my last house to my present one, both of which I liked, there was a period where I felt uncomfortable in the new house.  I hadn't yet got to the point where I felt at home there, but I'd already left the last place, so I couldn't return there either.  Eventually I made the new place home and things became more comfortable, but the period of adjustment is what we know as the process.

One thing that can come up during a process is uncertainty.  That may be one of the reasons I found it hard to adjust my new home - it was all new and unfamiliar.

However process happens with other types of change too.  It might be that an organisation or group you're involved in wants to change something.  The tendency is often to resist the change or take it as a personal criticism, but it might be that the change will result in something even better.  We might want to resolve everything very quickly so we know where we stand, but we will probably have to go through a period of process.  If a large number of people are involved then they will need to have their views heard and they may change their views during the process.  The uncertainty can feel uncomfortable until a new equilibrium is found.

In the same way, when we go through therapeutic healing, whether we do this by ourselves or with a professional therapist, we are also going through a change. We're changing from the person we were to the person we are becoming.  Although this will be a positive change, the unknown element can make it feel a bit strange for a while.  As unresolved issues come to the surface, we can feel uncomfortable.  As we let go of the old, we can feel a bit empty.  As we take a new step into the unknown, we can feel vulnerable.

The key to all this is patience and trust.  An awareness of what process is can make it easier for us. Rather than panicking that we're somehow going mad or that a decision feels wrong, we can ride it out calmly.  It is also important to let others go through their own process.  By recognising this, we can give them space and respect until they have found their new balance.

So I wish you the best for your next process.  Enjoy.