Don't Try Too Hard

We've all probably been told at some point in our lives to try harder.  Maybe by our parents or school teachers, or seen it written on a school report.  Nowadays it's very common to hear people say "I'll try" in response to a request to do something.  But what is actually going on energetically with this?

To start with, the confirmation that you'll "try" suggests that you may succeed or you may fail.  It therefore prepares the person you're talking to for either outcome.  It also lets you off the hook if you don't achieve whatever you were setting out to do as you pre-warned that it might not happen.  Now that's fine if you're referring to something that isn't very important, but not so good if it's a priority.  "I'll try and get to the gym this week."  If I were to hear those words from someone, I wouldn't be very sure they'd actually make it.

The word "try" also suggests a lot of effort.  "I'm going to try and push that car along the road."  Well, I'll heave and heave and I may shift it a bit, but it's going to take all my strength to do it.  Similarly, "I'll try to clean the kitchen today" suggests that this will be a mammoth job that may well take ages and leave us drained to exhaustion.  That's not really likely to inspire us to get started.  In fact, it creates resistance.

I would suggest that firstly, we just make a decision whether or not we truly want to take action.  For that, we need to dig down and find out our underlying motivations.  What are our reasons for doing it?  Are we just trying to placate another person when we have no intention of doing it? Is there buried fear around doing it, even if we're not sure exactly what that fear is?

Then if we decide to do it, affirm that we are going to do it.  "I'm going to the gym this week" has much more certainty to it.  I'd be more likely to believe this.  Also, if we affirm an intention to someone else, we often feel more accountable to take the action, which can help us find motivation when it's not forthcoming.

By affirming rather than trying, we're going with the flow rather than fighting against the current.  Affirmations help create a new reality.   If we affirm that we are becoming fitter, then we are likely to attract things to help us create that, including the motivation to go to the gym.

If we decide not to do something, be honest.  Let the other person know why and be accountable for your choice. They may not like it, but in the long run, they'll probably respect you more for your honesty and for setting clear boundaries.

So next time you hear yourself say the word "try", check out whether it is really serving you.